“Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.” -John Jake
Its been quite a while since I last gave my opinion on life and how mine is going in the process. I've done a lot, seen a lot, and am ready to write a lot. Hope you're ready to come on the journey with me.
I am thankfully done with school (hallelujah!) and am just getting settled back home in Colorado. I just flew home today from Arizona, where I spent the past week with my fiance, Jared, and his family. While there, I learned a lot about myself, and about my new family that I will be a part of in the near future.
As for my in-laws, I will not say what I have learned. Those are my treasures and secrets to keep. Maybe if you ask me, I'll tell you, but don't get your hopes up ;) As for me, my experience in Arizona shaped me up that much more to set goals of who I wanted to be and who I need to be for my families and for Jared especially. I need to be myself. If someone tries to tell you who you are is not what it should be, tell them to step off. Now, if it is for the benefit of your maturity and for the rest of the world, heed, perhaps with caution. But to be yourself, truly, because you never know, people could like you better the way you are. I know that I am very blessed to have families that are high class. My parents have taught me manners, how to act, and maturity that I should be ever grateful for. My parents to be have those same expectations to be met. However, families are so very different in the way that they function and acceptability of behavior.
To each family their own, but I noticed when I was in AZ, I was trying to be someone I wasn't. I was trying to fit in and be what they wanted me to be. It worked, but I wasn't fully satisfied with the results I was receiving. Jared then told me, "Ariel, be yourself." Be myself? WHO IS THAT? Its hard to really know who we are as human beings, and what makes us so different from everyone else. So who are you that makes you different? Well I know that I like to say please and thank you. If I don't, I feel like a stuck up snob that expects to be waited on hand and foot. I like to smile at strangers when they look at me.... then they look at me like I'm crazy but what errrr. :) I like to tell stories of experiences that I've had that relate to someone. Show empathy in what they're talking about. I don't like being told what to do with my time, relationship, or life. I don't like when people make assumptions about something they know NOTHING about. Just say, "I'm not quite sure on that one," OR "I have no clue. You got me there."
SO... I tried being "me." And it worked, the results were more of what I was looking for, and in the end I got to know my family that much more because I was able to open up. For those of you who knew me as a child, you know that I had a shy problem. I was afraid of my own uncles even. I didn't want to be in the spotlight at all. Now, I think in my family of predominantly double X chromosomes, we like to bask in the spotlight, but try to bring each other into the spotlight as well. So, here I am shining through my sentences. I wish I could express everything in a manner that people could understand and feel the passion I feel. But I guess I'm in the spotlight by myself on this one.
Its hard to come into a family you don't know so well. Jared can back me up on that statement completely. But the nice thing about it is, you don't have to live with them for the rest of your life. Ok ok, you do in a sense, but not day in and day out. I can tell you now, I would go crazy if I had to live with either of Jared or my families for the rest of my rickidy old days. I just want me, and my man, and little shavers of kids once they decide to come along.
If you don't know who you are, and how to be yourself, don't worry. One day you might. I know that I try to act and treat people the way I would like to be treated. Sometimes I snap (Sorry Jared!) and sometimes I show my imperfections, but I know that if I try to be patient, humble, gentle, meek, submissive, loving and caring, I can have the Lord on my side. Just remember, most of the time, people like you for who you are, not who you're pretending to be.
